I like big butts and I can not lie.

So I got Sirius for my birthday. It's been a revelation in many ways. I had XM before, but the programming on Sirius is just better, and there's Howard Stern AND Martha Stewart, that unholy alliance. I learn about "inadequate wiping" as well as how to make lavender sachets, so it kind of comes out in the wash.

Anyway. I'm also learning all the embarrassing songs that I know ALL the words to. This is really disturbing stuff: Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back," George Clinton feat. Ice Cube's "Bop Gun," Ice Cube feat. Das EFX' "Check Yourself." (I used to have a rap show on my college radio station, listened to mainly by local 12-year-olds. This was before hip hop, when it was the sample-heavy p-funk rap of the early '90s.) Ok, so this isn't speaking to Sirius' excellence in programming, but my point is this: could've been quantum physics, maybe a cure for an unpleasant disease, but instead the world has "So ladies if the butt is round, and you want a triple-X throwdown, dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts..."

Yeah, I feel kind of dirty, too.