I'm Helping.
People don't really need, or want, my help, it turns out. I am friends with a number of shy people who either (a) live alone or (b) have trouble lifting heavy things or (c) are Going Through Something that I've been through before.
When I talk with these people, I feel an overwhelming compulsion to try and assist them, whether it be with my mad resume-building skillz, my enormously impressive biceps, or my incredibly attuned listening abilities. Or, perhaps, to pick up the other end of the new sofa.
However, I find that my offers to help, while evidently appreciated, are routinely declined. Are people afraid I'll expect something in return that they cannot provide? Are they unwilling to admit that they need to rely on other human beings to get through the quotidian tribulations of this life? And perhaps most puzzling: why do I care?
When I talk with these people, I feel an overwhelming compulsion to try and assist them, whether it be with my mad resume-building skillz, my enormously impressive biceps, or my incredibly attuned listening abilities. Or, perhaps, to pick up the other end of the new sofa.
However, I find that my offers to help, while evidently appreciated, are routinely declined. Are people afraid I'll expect something in return that they cannot provide? Are they unwilling to admit that they need to rely on other human beings to get through the quotidian tribulations of this life? And perhaps most puzzling: why do I care?
posted by expediency101 at 2:10 PM
1 Comments:
Well, don't stop! I find that my offers of help are often brushed aside because people can't tell if I am truly sincere and know what I'm getting myself into. And I understand.
There are many people who say they'd like to help -- but not too much, and it can't be tonight. There are good well-intentioned friends who don't show up to help you move, cuz they're just like that. And there's nothing worse sometimes than half the help you need, or the unfulfilled promise of help -- better not to let someone start than to be abandoned in the middle, right?
And some of the time people don't feel that someone else can really help them with whatever it is.
But then again, your recognition of someone's need and you offer of help may help them more than you know.
So don't stop.
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